You Should Probably Get That Checked Out

Christmas!

Vegas!

Don't Slow Down

Some days, music is the only thing that keeps me going. And as Tom Petty said, "If you never slow down, you never grow old"

Pandorgasm

In a girl's life, some parts of the month are more difficult than others. For me, it's the last week of the month. That's when Pandora starts telling me that I listened to them too much so far and that I have to stop listening or pay them money.

When this happens, I just give them the big ole' middle finger and make a playlist of all my favorite songs lately. Enjoy!

Drink. Drank. Drunk.

There are far more than this, but here's just a slice of some of the best tunes to get you through a night enjoying a nice beverage...or twelve. Drink up.

Glee!

If you don't watch Glee, well, fuck you.

Songs Douchebags Like

Do you pop your collar?
Have you ever gotten a spray tan?
Think everyone but you is gay?
What about a tribal tattoo?
Look up to Jon Gosselin?

Yeah, this is all for you macho man.

I <3 Matt & Kim

I don't know what it is, but their music is refreshing--and it's everywhere. I first heard them from that Bacardi commercial and downloaded their new album "Grand". I fell in love with that and then I heard another of their songs in a spot for the pilot of Community. They also just won a VMA but I don't even know if those things are relevant anymore.

The main point being I am being a lazy ass, but this couple motivates me to the bone.

New York, New York

Only one song today, "New York, New York" by Ryan Adams. Yeah, I know what you are thinking. "Geeze Lady, more Ryan Adams?" Well, yes.

Shot on September 7th, the video portrays the twin towers in a very beautiful, but ominous way. I think that at is this point in history this song represents hope, progress, and a day that will not be forgotten.

Shake It!

You Can't Make Me.

WTF?

These songs have no business existing, but you know someone, somewhere said, "Dude, this is song is incomprehensible and asinine, but we'll just play the hell out of it and eventually people will assume it has to be good just because it's gets played on the radio"

1. She Wolf by Shakira- Shakira can dance and sing, I will give her that. But Shakira doing a full on wolf howl? No thank you. Just because your boyfriend ignores you does not mean "go out all night and slut it up." Maybe he's pissed because you are being SUCH A WHORE.

2. Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus-Maybe a party in your head Miley. But hell, I'd be that happy too if I was trying to establish a music career and Britney came on. That bitch is DONE.

3. Love Story by Taylor Swift- No other song has been played to exhaustion since "My Heart Will Go On". Anyone who made it through sophomore English should be embarrassed to listen to this rape of classic literature. Thank you Taylor for undermining what education is trying to do. A generation of girls will believe Romeo and Juliet lived happily ever after. When in reality its you and some Jonas brother or something.

4. I'm In Miami Bitch by LMFAO - Contrary to popular belief, old school pimps DO NOT walk with a limp. This song perpetuates every stereotype the Kardashian sisters half-assedly try to avoid.

5. Love Game by Lady Gaga- This song just begs the question, what the hell is a Disco Stick? I'm not sure but I'm pretty sure "Lady" Gaga has one.

6. Rumors by Lindsay Lohan- Dear Lindsay, doing the things you want to do usually involves hit and runs, coke, and rug munching. Put on some undies and maybe people will respect your privacy.

7. Stars Are Blind by Paris Hilton- There is nothing worse than someone who is famous for doing nothing...try to do something. This song's major flaw, complete absence of Paris' catch phrase "that's hot." Bad Paris.

8. About Us by Brooke Hogan- No one cares about you or who you are dating, except for your Dad.

9. Leavin' by Jesse McCartney- Translation: Yo bitch, I've been stalking you, your ass is awesome btw. I'm gonna take you out in public and bust a wad (of money) all over you to impress you because your bf is an asshole.

10. Dramatic by Britney Spears ft. Heidi Montag- I don't know who thought of this monstrosity, but it is an abomination to all music. I was able to tolerate listening to these songs for a small amount of time, but this, this was just completely unpalatable to anything with ears. Listen at your own risk.



Ladies and Gentlemen, the future of music.

Let's Get It On

I'm back. Again. Hopefully for the long run this time as summer winds down and my life will return to some form of normalcy. To send off the season, I'm feeling a nice sinful approach to this week, so look forward to some more great songs about all the bad things we do. Starting first off, it's everyone's favorite hobby. Sex.

Musical Karma

In atonement to the universe for some of the questionable music that was posted here earlier, here's some of the stuff I've been listening to recently.

Bonus list: Sass' Favorite Songs

Somewhat tolerable pseudo-punk

Everything on this list reminds me of high school. It's terrible. No one needs to know you like any of this, so plug in the headphones and shut the door before anyone sees you rocking out to the likes of this.

Couldn't muster the creativity today for a graphic, but I made the list neon, because punks like neon, right? If that doesn't get you off, then you can click here to get your fill of angsty punk rockers with creative little glitter sayings and such.

I fucking love Ryan Adams

So I'm cheating today, and it's all Sass' fault.
Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions.

"my life according to Ryan Adams"

Pick Your Artist:
Ryan Adams

Are you a boy or a girl:
These Girls

Describe yourself:
So Hot, So Cold

How do you feel:
Let It Ride

Describe where you currently live:
Mining Town

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
New York, New York

Your best friend is:
My California Love

What's the weather like:
Black Clouds

If your life was a tv show, what would it be called:
I Know You're Crazy

What is life to you:
Life Is Beautiful

Your last relationship was:
Liar

Your current relationship:
Crazy About You

Your fear:
I See Monsters

What is the best advice you have to give:
Not In High School Anymore

How I would like to die:
Come Down Easy

My soul's present condition:
Happy

My motto:
To Be Young, Is To Be Sad, Is To Be High

thanks to Answeringbell.com for their help with this post

Days and Lights

My apologies for such an extended absence. I've been to Florida and California and about everywhere else in between. Alas, I am back to work and life this week, so I should be back in full form. This list has my new favorite song in it. Can you guess what it is?

Chef Anthems

This list is completely inspired by one of my favorite blogs, Food Network Humor. They recently made a post of theme songs for the celebrity chefs on Food Network.

Sandra Lee’s Theme Song: Why Don’t We Get Drunk And Screw by Jimmy Buffett
Why: Sandra’s never met a bottle of booze that she didn’t like.

Bob Tuschman’s Theme Song: Out Of Touch by Hall & Oates
Susie Fogelson’s Theme Song: Stupid Girl by Garbage
Why: These two self-indulgent, pandering executives have no clue what people under 50 find entertaining.

Pat Neely’s Theme Song: Kissing A Fool by George Michael
Gina Neely’s Theme Song: Talk Dirty To Me by Poison
Why: Watch an episode of Down Home, and it’s obvious.

Ina Garten’s Theme Song: Material Girl by Madonna
Why: Her muffin pans cost more than your car.

Paula Deen’s Theme Song: It’s All About The Benjamins by Puff Daddy
Why: If she ain’t makin’ money from it, she ain’t wastin’ her time doin’ it, y’all.

Rachael Ray’s Theme Song: Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm by Crash Test Dummies
Why: Represents the obnoxious foodgasm noises she makes whenever she tastes food.

John Cusimano’s Theme Song: Shoulda Known Better by Richard Marx
Why: Not like he’s any prize, but could YOU imagine waking up to Rachael Ray every day?

Sunny Anderson’s Theme Song: Because I Got High by Afroman
Why: A nod to the embarrassing photos of Sunny smoking what looks like a BIG FAT JOINT.

Giada’s Theme Song: Daddy’s Money by Ricochet
Why: Giada’s parents and grandparents were rich, and their money is what got her where she is today.

Guy Fieri’s Theme Song: American Idiot by Greenday
Why: BECAUSE HE’S THE BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG ON TELEVISION, OF COURSE.

View the original post here.

PS- No graphic today. I feel like shit and as I was trying to photoshop something heinous relating to Guy Fieri I just couldn't stomach it.

MJ.

I won't lie, I was never a huge Michael Jackson fan. He is a little before my time and his antics always seemed a little outrageous. But I can respect him for what he did for music during his lifetime. This is how he lives on for me.

Jesus Christ: Pop Superstar!

Songs for People With iPods

I guess they have this phone thing now? I don't really know what's going on, but these songs from the commercials sure are catchy.

(that's me...falling)

Songs for Sorostitutes

These are the songs that have all the party girls in leggings and hoop earrings screaming "This song is about me!"

Then she finishes her Mike's Hard Lemonade and pukes all over your lap. Score.

Come on Ride It: Songs that Started a Dance Craze

Karaoke Nightmare

I once thought that I was really cool that I knew every word to Eminem's "Without Me". I have since come to learn that singing fast doesn't make you cool (or a good "rapper") These are some of the songs that most people can't help but love, but few should ever sing.

the nine to five

Here's to everyone putting in their 40 hours this week.

You heard it here first.

Ok, not here exactly, but the internet. You probably won't want to make it past the first few seconds of most of these, but I think it's worth a laugh or two.

Songs About A Girl

Rainy Days

Mr. and Mrs. Adams

Jon and Kate

In lieu of watching tonight's episode, I made a playlist for this faltering relationship. If we don't stop supporting it, it's never going to go away.

Introduction to Ten Tunes

The purpose of this blog is to categorize music in a way that it relates to life. Consider it my mix tape to the world. I do not intend for the lists to be comprehensive of the songs that could be included. I only hope that they may suggest something new, recall something you forgot, or allow you to enjoy something you already love.

Comments are welcome to recommend other related songs or have general discussion. If you have suggestions for topics I would love to hear them, feel free to email me with your suggestions .

And always remember, life is a playlist.

-Leslie

Listo Uno: California